Blaster Boy
by Spiff 7
Summary: *COMEDY* This is just meant as a light hearted bit of fun. I hope it makes someone smile. Ahsoka/Rex, other Clone/Jedi pairings implied.
1. Blaster Boy and the Doughnuts of Doom

_This is just a short silly, fluffy little one shot that I really had to get off my manly chest. Seriously, I'm a guy, I shouldn't own up to writing this kind of mush. Apologies in advance. _

_I don't own Clone Wars, but the characters did volunteer for this one._

**Blaster Boy and the Doughnuts of DOOM!**

Ahsoka couldn't sleep. She gave up trying and headed down to the mess hall where she expected to be alone. Instead she saw Captain Rex all by himself; she smiled and headed over to him.

Rex sat at a table, his head leaning on one hand as he tapped periodically on a data pad in front of him. Also on the table was a large flattish box. As Ahsoka drew nearer she could see that the open box contained a heap of iced sugary doughnuts.

"Hey Rexter" she greeted him as she plonked herself down in the seat opposite.

Without looking up he slid the box closer to himself and out of her reach, and then as if noticing her presence for the first time, looked up and gave her bright smile.

"Good evening Commander"

"What you doing?" she enquired innocently eyeing up the box.

"Oh, you know, just catching up on some things" his look sideways at the doughnuts did not go unnoticed by her.

"Sooo, doughnuts huh?" she said smiling sweetly at him "I heard you guys all have a sweet tooth."

He nodded sagely, "Yes Commander Tano"

"_Rex_, why so formal?"

"You're not having one" he said bravely.

"Aw come on Rexter, just one?"

"Nope, all mine." He rested both arms around the box and smiled appreciatively at the doughnuts within. "Come to papa"

"You're gonna eat _all_ of them?"

"Yep"

"But there's like 12 in there!"

"And they are all mine" he glowered at her in a teasing way.

"In that case, I'll sit here and pester you until you let me have one"

He considered this.

"You are _good_ at pestering" he conceded.

"Yes I am"

"Okay, I'll cut you a deal" he said leaning forward in a business like manner. "If you can eat _one_ doughnut _ONE without_ any lip licking, then you can have some more. If not, you leave me to eat them in peace"

"Hmmmm", she folded her arms as if considering this "Sounds easy. Ok Rex old boy, you got yourself a deal"

He smiled and offered up the box, she cautiously selected what she deemed to be the biggest doughnut and started to munch happily on it.

Rex watched her carefully. His eyes flicking from her mouth to her eyes. Her eyes sparkled at him.

She only had about a third of the doughnut left now and she could smell victory.

Rex grunted, leant forward suddenly and committed a crime.

He then sat back in his seat; skilfully snatching up another doughnut from the box as he did so.

Ahsoka sat rigid in her seat, a look of shock and bewilderment frozen on her face.

Rex gave her a cheeky wink and chomped down on the doughnut which oozed jam down his chin.

With his mouth still full he proclaimed "I won!"

Ahsoka looked aghast.

"_You _cheated!" she bust out.

"Did not" He replied looking hurt

"Did too" she fumed

"Bad loser" he said gesturing at her with his half eaten doughnut. "Typical Jedi"

"Cheater!" she shrieked again leaning forward with her elbows on the table.

"Fair and square" he added swallowing his mouthful noisily and smirking at her.

"I only loose if _**I**_ lick my lips, those are the rules!" she protested.

He stuck his tongue out at her and she couldn't help but laugh indignantly at him.

"Oh, this _is_ war" she declared.

"I'm good at war" he said flatly "Born for it infact"

"I can't believe you did that Rex!"

He took another bite and looked at her shrewdly for a few seconds before speaking.

"You complaining?"

Ahsoka met his gaze for some time before she smiled wickedly at him.

"Ok" she said simply. "Ok"

She then plucked the data pad from the table and started typing something on it. Rex leaned forward to see what she was up to but she covered the pad with her hand as she slid it closer to herself away from his view. When she had finished she placed the data pad on her lap and picked up the uneaten third of her doughnut. She held the piece of doughnut up in front of her as if studying it; and then very slowly and deliberately teased it across her lips. It left a little smear of jam.

Back and forth, back and forth.

Rex watched the doughnut like a man hypnotised.

Ahsoka caressed the doughnut with her lips, her eyes half closed in ecstasy as she swept the tasty treat with ever increasing passion across her hot lips; it's sugary trail evidence of her theatrical passion.

With her lips fully caked in sugar she leant right forward across the table, she then hooked her fingers in the top of his armour and pulled him the rest of the way until their faces were just inches apart. She fluttered her eyelashes at him making a point of flirtingly glancing at the sugar that still remained on his lips. Ahsoka held up the data pad, Rex's eyes darted to it, a small whimper escaped his own lips before he coughed gruffly to cover it.

The words shone in the dim lighting of the mess hall.

"_**Let's play that again Blaster Boy"**_


	2. Sky Guy and Blaster Boy

_This is just fluffy fun. Don't take it too seriously, tis only meant to make a few of you smile._

**Sky Guy and Blaster Boy**

Anakin and Ahsoka walked with tired legs into the mess hall, both work weary and in need of food before a much earned rest. The hall was deserted except for four clones sat at one table.

"Hey Rex" said Anakin as they drew closer.

"Good evening General" smiled Captain Rex as Commanders, Bly, Cody and Gree also acknowledged the presence of the two Jedi.

"What have we here?" asked Anakin rubbing his hands together as he eagerly eyed up the box of doughnuts on the table.

"Clone food" said Rex flatly narrowing his eyes.

Anakin craned his neck slightly for a better view of the sugary treats but Commander Cody was already sliding the box away from him to the other end of the table.

"Aw, come on boys" said Anakin merrily before an evil smile played on his lips. "I bet you can't eat one without licking your lips"

A soft gasp escaped Ahsoka's mouth as both she and Rex looked up startled at his words.

Anakin watched them both for a few moments, his arms folded on his chest, his smile unfaltering. He winked at them both.

"Ah, romance is in the air" sighed Anakin in a mock manner. He smirked at all the nervous faces around the table. "I am Jedi" he said tapping the side of his nose "I can sense these things, I know the score." He drummed his fingers on the table and looked happily at the other anxious faces at the table.

"I know all the scores" he added.

Silence hung in the air for a while as Anakin mercilessly enjoyed watching the others fidget uncomfortably at his meaning.

"Talking of _scores_ sir" said Rex "How is senator Amidala?"

Anakin's face froze before he shrewdly eyed his Captain

"Ok Rex" he laughed "She is fine to the best of my knowledge. Well played. What would I do without you to keep me on my toes?"

Captain Rex raised his eyebrows "We both know why you keep me around sir"

"As far as I'm concerned Rex, you are one of a kind. The best there is."

"And?" said Rex

Anakin looked genuinely confused.

Rex cleared his throat. "We both know it's because my armour matches your R2 unit sir."

Sniggering erupted around the table and Ahsoka had to put her hand over her mouth.

"Rex!" Anakin spread his hands innocently "That had never even occurred to me!"

"Sir" said Rex flatly

"It's just a . . . delightful bonus." said Anakin eventually.

Rex threw him an exasperated look before shaking his head and picking out a doughnut from the box. Next to him Commander Cody was already chomping happily away on one.

The box was pushed to the middle of the table again for all to tuck in.

"So …" said Anakin as he pulled his most innocent expression and smiled brightly at Commander Bly whilst selecting himself a doughnut. "How is general Secura these days Commander? I trust she is well?"

Bly glanced nervously around the table only to find everyone but Anakin avoiding his eyes.

"She is fine thank you General" he replied carefully.

"So she is very well then?"

"Er, yes sir"

"Keeping herself _fit_ you would say?"

"Yes General Skywalker." replied Commander Bly, his face a picture of honesty. "General Secura is very fit indeed I would say."

The occupants of the table burst into uncontrolled sniggering as Commander Bly, realising his words blushed furiously.

Anakin wiped the laughter tears from his eyes.

"I'm sure she would be delighted to hear you say so Commander" he said eventually still smirking at the sight of Bly's red face.

Commander Bly picked out a doughnut and sat quietly eating it his face still red.

Anakin turned his attention to a very wary looking Commander Gree.

"And General Unduli Commander Gree?" he pursed his lips thoughtfully. "I trust she is keeping you . . . _busy_?"

Gree shook his head and smiled. "I'm not playing" he said as he licked escaping jam from the side of his doughnut.

Anakin laughed "Well I know for a fact that she likes to put you through your paces, so we'll leave it at that shall we." He leant back in his chair and rested his hands behind his head as he chewed his food; he glanced over at Commander Cody.

Cody choked on his mouthful of doughnut.

"Don't look at me, there is nothing going on between me and _my_ Commanding officer!"

There was a long drawn out silence as everyone tried to get the imagery out of there heads.

Ahsoka broke the silence.

"Do you think he has . . . you know . . .with anyone?"

"Ahsoka!" exclaimed a mischievous Anakin "That is not something we should be discussing at the dinner table, or anywhere else for that matter".

"But _you _started it _Master_!"

"Obi-None Kenobi" sniggered Commander Gree softly as he eyed up his second doughnut. He then looked up nervously as if he hadn't meant to say the words out aloud.

Anakin chuckled, his finger on his lips. Gree visibly relaxed.

"Great" said Anakin after a few moments "Now if I ever call him that by accident I'll know who to blame"

"It's the sugar talking sir" offered Commander Gree by way of an excuse.

"Oh, and do pass on my regards to Commander Offee please Gree." Said Anakin stretching and yawning "Or would it be more efficient to ask Commander Cody to do that?"

Gree smiled around a mouthful of doughnut and Commander Cody, his cheeks blushing found sudden interest in the mess hall ceiling.

Anakin laughed, looking very proud of himself. His victorious mirth was cut short when a piece of sticky doughnut splatted onto his forehead from the direction of Captain Rex.

The scene was frozen, and then Anakin finally spoke.

"Started the doughnut wars have."

Ahsoka sprang away from the table as the battle commenced.

She escaped to the doorway and stood next to a serving droid.

She sighed.

"Everyone else gets to work with professionals" she said addressing the droid. "What do I get?"

She folded her arms and then smiled happily.

"Sky Guy and Blaster Boy"


	3. Blaster Boy Vs The Jedi

_**It's still fluffy and it's still nonsense and geez, I still don't own it.**_

**BLASTER BOY Vs THE JEDI**

"These" said Captain Rex ceremoniously sliding the box away from the Jedi Masters outstretched hand "are not the doughnuts you are looking for"

Obi-Wan frowned and gently stroked his beard as he did so. He made a mental note to remember that line.

"I rather think they are Captain" he said confidently, whilst treating the Clone Captain to what he had always considered to be one of his most dazzling smiles.

Captain Rex seemed unperturbed and continued to chomp down rather messily on the doughnut in his hand.

There was a gruff snort from behind the Jedi, and Obi-Wan turned to find himself face to face with Master Luminara's somewhat stoic Commander who was shifting his weight from one foot to the other like some caged animal.

"Ah Commander Gree" exclaimed Obi-Wan carefully removing himself from the clones path.

In one swift movement Commander Gree seated himself at the table thus creating a solid clone wall between Obi-Wan and the prized sugary treats.

Not wanting to be out manoeuvred Obi-Wan took up station on the corner of the table placing himself back within striking distance of the doughnut box. This earned him a look from Commander Gree that would probably have frozen a Tauntaun at fifty paces.

The Jedi shivered, but heroically summoned a smile from somewhere.

"What is it about Clones and sugar anyway?" questioned Obi-Wan cheerfully.

"We like sugar" said Commander Bly as he briskly strode into the canteen and pulled up a chair for himself "you know, like ants" he waved his hand vaguely in front of his

face as if to make a point and somehow managed to acquire a doughnut in the process.

"Yes I have often thought that your helmets and armour do rather make you all look a bit like an. . ." Obi-Wan started before he was cut off by the howling and barking noises that erupted from the otherwise reserved Clones as they marked the entrance of Commander Wolffe into the room.

Commander Wolffe sighed heavily and stopped halfway across the canteen floor.

"I am getting _so_ sick and tired of that" he said shaking his head and placing his hands on his hips.

He was rewarded with a wolf whistle which did nothing to improve his mood but did cause stifled sniggering around the table.

Under Obi-Wans bemused gaze Wolffe plonked himself down on a seat and snatched up a doughnut on which he could vent his frustrations.

Jam oozed lazily down his wrist armour and onto the table. Commander Gree shook his head at the sight of the mess

"No depth perception" he muttered.

Someone sucked in their breath and both Rex and Bly leaned back in their seats

"I've got a bad feeling about this" said Rex as both Wolffe and Gree locked glares.

Moments passed and then as quickly as it had started the challenge was over as both parties seemed to concede that there was not going to be a winner today as far as steely glares were concerned.

Even Obi-Wan found himself breathing a sigh of relief.

"Well gentleman" said Obi-Wan diplomatically "I think we should all celebrate our good fortune of being here together with …" he puffed out his cheeks as if giving the matter a considerable amount of thought " oh, I don't know, a doughnut perhaps?"

"Hmmpf" The familiar noise came from under the table and all eyes turned suspiciously toward Gree who was in mid act of offering a piece of his doughnut to the occupant under the table.

Commander Gree looked abashed under the scrutiny of his brothers, he eventually shrugged in defeat.

"It's not my fault" he tried, "he follows me everywhere!"

Obi-Wan folded his arms and peered under the table "Master Yoda?" he enquired.

"Too busy" came the happy reply "eating doughnut I am"

"At least one of us is" muttered Obi-Wan in response.

"Jealous are you?" came the jovial voice of the small green Jedi Master.

"Well no, not really" said Obi-Wan defiantly. The clones all regarded him with raised eyebrows.

"You should be" came the reply from Master Yoda.

And then Yoda poked his head out from under the table and in between Gree's legs causing Luminaraa's Commander to fall backwards in his chair much to the amusement of Commander Wolffe.

The dimmed lighting of the mess hall caught the Jedi Masters features in what could only be described as a sinister fashion.

"You should be" repeated Yoda.


End file.
